Top Ten Most Controversial, Unexpected and Weird Moments of the 2009 Adelaide Fringe

 

by Red Paint  

The Fringe is an open access festival. Performers pay a registration fee to have their show included within the guide and subsequent promotions of the festival. But in a festival with no curation, organisers have just as little idea about how things will turn out as much as punters. This fly by the seat of your pants style can be scary: for promoters, sponsors, organisers, media, punters and especially producers. But without platforms such as Fringe festivals, a vast number of performances and exhibitions would never set foot in a town such as Adelaide, or on stage at all. 

With open access comes a diversity that is not achieved in the majority of arts festivals in Australia. For every TV presenter performing stand-up, there are a number of emerging artists performing new innovative works. In 2009 there were 293 Australian premieres hosted among the 500 plus performances. Adelaide should feel proud to host a festival with such a well regarded reputation that artists are willing to put themselves out there and try new things because our audiences are seen as being receptive to new ideas and new techniques and willing to take a chance.  

But in the same way that we all take guilty pleasure in reading Hollywood gossip magazine whilst standing in line at the supermarket (don’t deny it boys), the controversies are part of what draws us to the Fringe. So here’s a look at the top ten most controversial, unexpected and weird moments of the 2009 Adelaide Fringe. And note to anyone reading this employed by Murdoch (which I’m hoping is unlikely): don’t take it personally. We’ve already got enough controversies amongst this list without having The Advertiser dumping on a Fringe reviewer as well.  
 

Bloody Brief History Of Swearing

The Brief: Does what it says on the ox. Comedian Alexis Dubus provides historical insights into some of his favourite offensive terms.
 
The Beef: 
The Advertiser’s review, despite beginning with the statement “even parental guidance won’t cut it here” goes on to say “thank goodness it’s not an offensive show”. This pissed me off. 
 
The Wash-up: 
If you can’t offend The Advertiser, you can’t offend anyone. And for a show about swearing, surely this would have been a simple task? 
 


 

Pie Charts and Panties

The Brief: Dance piece based on the premise of a corporate stand-off turning into an all out war over stationary. Frilly knickers promised.   
      
The Beef: Was expecting a debaucherous office Christmas party type knees up, and instead got a bunch of satirical notes on pie charts expressed through interpretative dance.
 
The Wash-up: Blatant use of provocative title to win the hearts of ticket buyers then not following through on promises. I get that enough of those empty promises by meeting shit men; I don’t need it from Fringe shows too. 
 
 


 

 
Holy Guacamole
 
The Brief: Story of a half boy/half avocado up to crazy adventures amidst suburban angst.
 
The Beef: When TransAdelaide promises that “the next train on platform one will now depart at 5:37” it shouldn’t really matter where you live in Adelaide, there should have plenty of time to make a 7:00 show. Turns out, not so much. 
 
The Wash-up: Hideously delayed and ridiculous train journey leaves said reviewer stranded and subsequently late, missing a much anticipated show. To kill time before another show and to fill the void of missing Holy Guacamole, of which I was really excited about, I end up with a $300 layby at Myer. Considering billing TransAdelaide for damages and costs. 
 


 

Hitlerhoff
 
The Brief: Very simply in the words of the promoters – “David Hasselhoff and Adolf Hitler: together at last!”
 
The Beef: Yet another attempt to drag out the piss weak celebrity quality of David Hasselhoff. Although comparing him to Hitler is probably the best use of the Hoff’s name for quite some time, as the tag line says, “two wrongs don’t make a Reich”.
 
The Wash-up: Clever show full of dark, satirical comedy which, unlike Swearing, did manage to piss off The Advertiser and receive a one star review in the process. Perhaps journalists working for Murdoch don’t appreciate the comparisons between Hitler’s Aryan fantasies and the blonde, blue-eyed dream-world of Baywatch? Ouch!
 
 


 

 
Beaconsfield: A Musical In No Particular Key
 
The Brief: A satirical look at the media circus which took over the Beaconsfield mine collapse in 2006 set to show tunes and featuring the perennially underutilised performance technique known as “jazz hands”.
 
The Beef: Originally named “Beaconsfield: A Musical In A-Flat Minor” the show kicked up quite a fuss at the 2008 Melbourne Fringe, ironically creating their own media merry-go-round but with plenty of ‘can’t buy that kind of publicity’ along the way. The producers were forced to change the title of the show after complaints directly from Larry Knight’s family.
 
The Wash-up: Any show that rips the piss out of Kochie is more than alright by me. Alan Jones, Naomi Robson, Eddie McGuire all torn to shreds, and a hilarious skit involving the ABC planning their coverage Bananas in Pyjamas style. Remember the days when Good News Week was on the ABC and actually still funny? Then you should have seen this show. 
 


 

Six Minute Soul Mate
 
The Brief: A blistering performance work promising to be as out of control as “a barn dance doped up on cocaine”. 
 
The Beef: With much of the show set in a speed dating format, I hoped to have picked up some tips. Rather than scoring any phone numbers, myself and the rest of the intimate audience was greeted by a giant cuddly bear. But that’s ok, as the show continues through a series of performance pieces which take an uncompromising look at love in our commodified cultural landscape.  
 
The Wash-up: A brilliant performance work exploring the nature of romance and relationships in a world of quick-fixes. Might not have got a root out of it, but at least I got a free glass of champagne. It’s hard to be too fussy these days. 
 
 


 


 
 
The Wet Spots
 
The Brief: “Picture a husband and wife team from the golden age of comedy. Now picture them singing sweetly about threesomes and spankings”.
 
The Beef: Cass King and John Woods may be renowned cabaret performers, but who in their right mind is going to pay money to see a couple of baby boomers not only talk about kinky sex but set it to tunes which require audience involvement and sing-alongs? Not me, that’s for sure.
 
The Wash-up: The songs were probably clever, the performers were probably engaging, the punters probably enjoyed it.  But having almost repressed the memory of the mother to daughter sex talk into the “never to be opened again” file in my mind, a couple singing about S&M called The Wet Spots were never going to win a place in my heart.

 
 
Tommy Little in ‘Getaway’

The Brief: A young buck goes off on a strange and marvellous adventure involving world travel, heartbreak, homelessness, nudity and other associated adult themes.
 
The Beef: Little bit tricky to open your show when there’s been a fatal stabbing outside your venue the night before. Whilst hardened locals are likely to put this downright bad luck down to the trials and tribulations of hosting Fringe theatres on Hindley Street, fresh-faced Adelaide Fringe virgin Tommy Little arriving at a cordoned-off crime scene investigation was probably just freaking the fuck out.
 
The Wash-up: Police do their thing, no one else dies on Hindley Street during Tommy’s season (that we know of), and venue manager wins the hearts, minds and standby muscle of each and every strip club security guard on the strip. Happy days all round then. 
 


 

 
Ladies of Colour
 
The Brief: Three “arse-kicking, queer women of colour” host a cabaret show around busting as many balls as possible.
 
The Beef: Not content with ball-busting through speech alone, the Ladies add in a bit of flag cutting into their show. Unfortunately it would seem the owners of Najjar’s cafe in North Adelaide where the show was being performed, where unaware this was part of the show. A few punters got a bit upset and left the performance in a huff.
 
The Wash-up: Complaints about the extent of coarse language and nudity added to the whole “let’s decimate the symbol of Australia” part of the show resulting in Najjar’s asked the Ladies to leave. Their final performance was hosted by a different venue, everyone realised that an open access festival is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get – and that venues and performers maybe need to have a bit of a chat to each other before signing contracts. An all-round hoo-ha which received tv and press coverage in much the same way as Beaconsfield did in Melbourne last year. Still remains to be seen if this show was good enough to profit from the coverage in the same way as Beaconsfield has. 
 

 
CUNTS... and other conversations

The Brief: 
Hiding in a dark corner of the Fringe visual arts guide, *****... and other conversations hosts 140 sculptured life size portraits of women’s bits and pieces.
 
The Beef: 
Well, not only is it called cunts, but it’s an exhibition full of them. This was always going to be a front runner for the prized numero uno spot. That, on top of the Henson-esque furore over the invitations, followed by the posters, then the actual exhibition, we can only be thankful that the exhibition was in Adelaide rather than Sydney away from the wrath of talkback radio vigilantes. 
 
The Wash-Up: 
Australia Post banned the invites from mail-sorting as they felt using the whole word cunts was too offensive for their staff. The police and Adelaide City Council received complaints about posters. The Australian Family Association completely lost their shit and claimed the use of the word and the associated images in the exhibition were degrading to women and “totally inappropriate for public display”. Promoters then felt degraded by the AFA’s hardline against feminism and the stifling of debate over the subjects of the exhibition. This was, after all, always meant to encourage the discussion of women’s issues and was intended to celebrate and empower women, rather than degrade.   Amongst the 300 guests at opening night were filmmakers acquiring footage for their planned project “Cunts, the Movie”. Let’s see what happens when they try to promote that!