Date: Frozen Horoscope

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The Gelati + Ice cream Date

When it comes to dating, nothing gives a person away like frozen dsserts. An effortless and efficient litmus test to rival the star sign, what you order is as much grounds for being pigeonholed by your newfound sweetie as your hair, music and footwear. And you don’t even know it. Merge understands wholeheartedly that there is indeed a subtle kind of alchemy in choosing a gelati or ice-cream flavour on a date with your sweetheart - especially if you happen to be sharing – and why would we let you circumnavigate these dangerous waters on your very lonesome? Nobody said love was easy but eating iced cream and gelato sure-as goddamn is, so read on and get wise.

WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE FLAVOUR SAYS ABOUT YOU
Rum and Raisin
Raised by pruney old Aussie parentals; was denied access to the fridge during childhood. Makes a fuss about the trams and enjoys the occasional buttered Milk Arrowroot during A Current Affair. Possibly a tightass: won’t upgrade to medium.

Mint Choc
The eternal kid. A friend to all animals and children but a Billy Madison man-child nonetheless. May have undertaken karate lessons at some point but tired quickly of discipline. Has nice teeth and is always willing to share. Orders biggest size.

Pistachio
The dark horse. Requires sophistication, but beware! Works in marketing and dreams of ‘making it’ in Sydney. The most 80s of all flavours with a certain delicacy but MUST be ordered in conjunction with something else to lose the Patrick Bateman vibe. Proceed with caution.

Cookies And Cream
Youngest child syndrome. Reformed schoolyard ADHD terrorist and red cordial shifter. Possibly interested in taking acting ‘more seriously’ and has been saving up to go to London for the past 10 years. Amiable enough personality; always offers you a taste.

Chocolate
Safe and tasty; reliable, dependable, likes a full flavoured woman/man, errs on the side of caution. Boundary breaking not a forte, but hey, will definitely pay the bill with grace. Topping gets extra points for steadfast spontaneity.

Lemon
A mixed bag. Tart and refreshing yes; the perfect mix-in but on its own? Certified C-H-E-A-T-E-R. Do not trust this person with anything period. Lemon and hazelnut? Trust this person with your heart and soul. Lemon and Mango? Tryhard Tropicana. Lemon and Strawberry? Yawnsville. Lemon and Coffee? *shudders*