A Note on Nudity - Monday November 9

OK PEOPLE, LISTEN UP - IT IS NOT OK TO ROCK CLIMB IN THE NUDE. NOT EVER.

Whilst I'm all for a bit of cheeky short shorts action and I fully appreciate the wonderful feeling of swimming in the nude, some lines have to be drawn. I had the extreme pleasure of partaking in the Island Vibe reggae festival on North Stradbroke over the weekend. For those of you that aren’t familiar with this festival it is a gem of the finest and rarest quality – a dreamy concoction of reggae, tropical island living, coconuts and hippies… and nudies.

Despite all the incredible experiences of the weekend, two very visceral images remain: 1) naked man rockclimbing on the beach, and 2) swimming out through the break and nearly being bowled over by a naked man doing a roly-poly in the surf. Actually, you need to understand how messed up that moment was, I’m going to have to indulge in capital letters again.. I WAS NEARLY BOWLED OVER BY A NAKED MAN DOING A ROLY-POLY IN THE SURF.

Though there is something truly beautiful and tender about the naked body, it's not something I'm prepared to remove from its pedestal of mystery. By all means, get one with nature, enjoy the texture of the world on your bare flesh, but please always be respectful of your neighbour.

I've compiled a short list of things that I've seen - crazy things - being attempted by someone dressed in their birthday suit (note: I am a witness, not a partaker). From my experience I can tell you first hand, that these activities should not be done in the nude (no matter how much of a good idea it seems at the time):

•    Yoga
•    Rock-climbing
•    Gardening
•    Food preparation (I've seen a man cook one too many sausages, and I can still hear the shrill horror of his screams)
•    Beat-boxing
•    Did I mention roly-polying in the surf?

I am merely speaking from my thankfully limited experiences with awkward nudity. If anyone has anything to add to this list I would love to hear it. Comment below.

Jolie