Wanting to be elsewhere - Monday November 16

For all intents and purposes, the Merge party at elsewhere on Friday night was a rip-roaring success. Seriously, the place was packed, and it was hard to move. Especially when Brothers hit the stage and turned the dancefloor into a mosh pit.

When Elke took their turn in the spotlight, ripping up the decks, the crowd was just as dense (albeit slightly sweaty by this point). But when you're somewhere you want to be, surrounded by friends and have some wicked beats to get down to, you don't mind that you are squished in like sardines.

Not so much fun though, is finding yourself jammed in the middle of a bunch of greasy, smelly strangers in a shopping mall.

I don't know if you've ever tried to break the world record for fitting the most people into a VW Bug, but it is hilarious and something I recommend everyone try. Breaching personal space boundaries isn't an uncomfortable experience when you're among friends.

But for some reason, there are a bunch of people out there (who seem to all congregate at shopping centres), who have no qualms about shuffling sideways past a complete stranger in a bustling mall, breathing all over them and accidently brushing their buttocks or chests past arms and legs. 

They're probably the same bunch who walk side by side, veeerrrryyy slowly, blocking up the entire walkway. Seemingly oblivious to the growing group of frustrated people trying to find a gap to dart through - one big enough that they don't have to make physical contact.

They're also the ones that just happen to bump into Aunt Eadie, Cousin Jethro plus the family who used to live next door 5 years ago that they haven't seen in ages. So instead of moving to one side of the mall to have a chat, they form an impenetrable circle, forcing the traffic jam behind them to backtrack and take the long way around.

It's quite possible they don't even know they're causing the rest of us so much frustration. You could even be one of them. So next time you're out in a public place, do the rest of us a favour and glance back over your shoulder every now and then.