In the early 1800s, a committee of enlightened free-thinkers was formed to name the streets of the fledgling city of Adelaide. Consisting almost entirely of Freemasons, this committee didn’t just make the lives of 19th Century postmen markedly easier, but laid the first clues to a mystery that has baffled treasure hunters for generations.

Until now.

In naming a select few of the streets of Adelaide after prominent freemasons such as Gouger, Gilbert, Hanson, Morphett, Wakefield and King George, the committee established a puzzle that would make its solver wealthier and more powerful than the Templars and Opus Dei combined. And here’s how:

By opening a map of Adelaide, highlighting the streets named for Freemasons, folding the map twice at right angles, and holding the map up to a flame, the highlighted streets will perfectly form the Masonic square and compass. At the centre of this symbol, the madness of the Victoria square intersection suddenly makes rational sense, with the curved corners and straight Tram lines combining to form a perfect Masonic G, signifying God and Geometry.

Taking this clue to its logical zenith leads us to St Jude's Church on Brighton road, which has tilted on a slight angle ever since the “great” earthquake of 1954. By standing and facing away from the church at a 180 degree angle, you will face the Telstra phone tower located at the end of Brighton Jetty; the final resting place of Holdfast Bay’s dignity.

However, one mystery still remains. Why, I hear you ask, is an article dealing with Masonic conspiracies accompanied by a picture of two scantily clad, blonde, buxom French maids? Hellllll yeah, that’s why!