Dubious Adelaide | John Hindley, Swamp Thing

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Located in the heart of Adelaide and founded on a putrid bog, Hindley Street was named for the inexplicably unremarkable John Hindley; a public servant whose only claim to fame is having drunk himself to death at the behest of his doctor, Robert ‘rum-legs’ Todd.
 
The street honours its namesake every Friday and Saturday night, when Adelaideans from all around gather to pay homage to John Hindley through the consumption of unnecessary amounts of alcohol. The weekly ritual is concluded with the ceremonial removal of 38 glass shards from ones scalp; a tribute to the 38 lush, thriving trees that were rudely uprooted to create the street back in 1837.
 
While Hindley street may have started out life as the muddy disgrace of Adelaide, today the street has grown to become the bitumen disgrace of all South Australia. Also, I have it on good authority that John Hindley never so much as set foot on South Australian soil. In fact, if the South Australian Archives are to be trusted (and I strongly suggest that they aren’t), John Hindley never even existed. Nuts to you John Hindley…..if that is your real name.