For the first half of October, Federal Parliament is not in session. But rather than leave Canberra empty for all that time, why not put it to good use?

1. Use the city to acclimatise Sth Pole adventurers	2. Unleash a Kraken into Lake Burley Griffin

3. PARTY AT THE LODGE	4. Resurvey the terrain after the city rises an additional 4ft above sea level, following Joe Hockey's exit

5. Get Laurie Oakes really drunk	6. Host a national roundabout fanciers' convention

7. Hire caretakers for Parliament House	8. Temporarily transfer all public servants to the porn industry

9. Use the city to acclimatise post-apocolptic wasteland survivors.