Like him or be kind of impartial, there's no denying one stark fact: Kevin Rudd is a nerd. But being the charitable knaves we are, here are nine suggestions to make him cooler.

1. Throw him a Ninja Turtles party	2. Turn back the clock two years

3. Give him a cool nickname	4. Make him stand next to PMs uncooler than him

5. Pull a "Torrens" and drain him of all moisture	6. Never be seen without cigarettes

7. Make him learn Japanese, the "cool Mandarin"	8. Replace nerdlinger glasses with "Poochie" style sunnies

9. Remind us of the alternative.