We're all for the Federal Government's proposed healthcare system reforms. But - as usual - ol' Ruddegar & Co. have overlooked several important areas in the medical sector in dire need of change. Merge to the rescue again!

1. A pair of dangling balls for Malcom Turnbull	2. Emergency eyebrow implants for Peter Garrett

3. Surgical removal of Tony Abbott's lips from the Queen's arse	4. Full body tattoos to "cool up" Kevin Rudd

5. The hiring of equipment necessary to "bust" Joe Hockey	6. A brain for Steve Fielding

7. Permanent life support for the State Libs	8. Personalised Premier's suicide watch for the River Torrens

9. Dangling ball reduction surgery for Wilson Tuckey.