The leadership turmoil in the Liberal party is getting beyond embarrassing, even for a bunch of card-carrying Commies like us. But helpfully, we've provided this list of candidates who we think would do a better job of running the show.

1. Mothra	2. Julie Bishop with a shotgun

3. The empty Torrens	4. Any of these people, really

5. A robot version of Bob Menzies	6. A bunch of beetles glued together into a rough man shape

7. That guy you thought you saw eating a cat that time	8. The true form of Phillip Ruddock

9. A zip-lock bag of slime.