Politickin

 
January 2017
 
More Politickin
Democracy Darling - Hockey x Climate Change
While talk around climate change continues to fill the political arena, we here at Merge got to thinking: who's the one man with the power to personally fight global warming RIGHTHERE,RIGHTNOW? Why, Joseph Hockey, of course! Here are nine ways the chubby funster can lend a generous helping hand. ...
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Democracy Darling - Vacant Canberra
For the first half of October, Federal Parliament is not in session. But rather than leave Canberra empty for all that time, why not put it to good use? 1. Use the city to acclimatise Sth Pole adventurers 2. Unleash a Kraken into Lake Burley Griffin ...
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Democracy Darling - Medical Reform
We're all for the Federal Government's proposed healthcare system reforms. But - as usual - ol' Ruddegar & Co. have overlooked several important areas in the medical sector in dire need of change. Merge to the rescue again! 1. A pair of dangling balls for Malcom Tu...
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Democracy Darling - UteGate
When the "UteGate" scandal hit Parliament House recently, one terrible fact became clear: Australian political scandals are pretty lame. In an effort to spice things up, here are nine suggestions for politico snafus that would actually interest the public. 1....
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Democracy Darling - Swine Flu
We're into thrilling day 100+ of the dread H1N1 (swine flu) epidemic, and the worldwide death toll is still prrrrrrrrrretty pissweak. With that in mind, we've assembled a list of things that are more likely to kill you than swine flu. 1. Suffocating in a face mask ...
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Democracy Darling - Somali Pirate Problem
Those pesky Somali pirates are still causing problems. How can we thwart them? Alleviate systemic poverty by restoring the Somali fishing industry to national ownership? Pssssshhhhhh, no! It's easier than that!! 1. Take they asses to COURT 2. Tell a series...
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Democracy Darling - Kevin Rudd, Nerd
Like him or be kind of impartial, there's no denying one stark fact: Kevin Rudd is a nerd. But being the charitable knaves we are, here are nine suggestions to make him cooler. 1. Throw him a Ninja Turtles party 2. Turn back the clock two years ...
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Democracy Darling - Liberal Leadership
The leadership turmoil in the Liberal party is getting beyond embarrassing, even for a bunch of card-carrying Commies like us. But helpfully, we've provided this list of candidates who we think would do a better job of running the show. 1. Mothra 2. Julie ...
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Dubious Adelaide | The Masonic Code
In the early 1800s, a committee of enlightened free-thinkers was formed to name the streets of the fledgling city of Adelaide. Consisting almost entirely of Freemasons, this committee didn’t just make the lives of 19th Century postmen markedly easier, but laid the first clues to a mystery that has baffled treasure hunters for generations. Un...
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Dubious Adelaide | High and Dry
On the 12th of February this year, our beloved River Torrens was drained, reducing our only metropolitan river to a stagnant bog. International guests were greeted with a rubbish and car infested mud-apocalypse, and a stench that one passerby aptly described as 'rotting flesh marinated in hobo vomit'. It was revealed a malfunction caused the res...
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