OWEN LINDSAY | Art DAN MONCEAUX
Talks with four people who might be responsible with how the rest of your life goes.

Okay: So you could be in trouble.

That sounds dramatic – but it’s tough to put a good spin on things when the global economy is haemorrhaging faster than a haemophiliac in a Tarantino movie. We’re still a massive way off from the 29% unemployment that characterised the Great Depression, and – unless everyone starts cracking skulls and feasting on the goo within – it simply isn’t going to get near that bad. Nevertheless, Federal Treasurer Wayne Swan has all but confirmed that 2010 will be The Year of the Recession in Australia, while some economists are declaring that we’re already deeper in Recession than Jason Statham’s hairline.

But, the good news is: Right now, you’re in a pretty decent position. The cost of petrol is down, as are housing prices, and interest rates are falling to record lows  – plus, chances are you’re getting some RuddBux pretty soon with which to buy that flatscreen or V8 engine enhancement (I have no idea what I’m talking about). The reality is, Australia’s workforce is still yet to feel the full cosmic force of the generically-named Global Financial Crisis (I pushed for “Great Depression 2000”, but nooo). While layoffs elsewhere in the world have become widespread, our unemployment rate at home has yet to be hit significantly. So unless you’re dressed like the Monopoly man and living entirely off investments, you probably haven’t been too affected by the GFC yet. But the tip is that in the next six months layoffs are a-coming, and you’d best be prepared.

What all that boils down to is that if you’ll be looking for work over the upcoming months, competition will be fierce. So how do you make sure you’re the one who gets the sweet, sugary job in the end? We spoke with four people who might be the ones employing you – in the advertising, building, finance, and graphic design industries – with a plan to find out how you can make sure you stand out from the pack.

Recessions are nothing new for KWP! Advertising, the agency marketing Cooper’s to the rest of Australia, as well as the brains behind those creepy Australian quarantine ads and – god bless ‘em – even those George Kapiniaris RAA ads. The company was founded during Australia’s last official Recession in 1991, and so they know the drill during tough economic times.

“We’re looking to address all the doom and gloom talk”, KWP!’s Andrew Carracher tells me. “We want to change clients’ perceptions – that things aren’t actually that bad.” Andrew’s business card designates him as Papal Emissary, a hint of the creative energy that pulses out from within the agency’s bright yellow walls.

“We’ve got three tenets that we work by here,” Andrew (actually Account Director) says. “Do great work. Have fun. And make a fair profit.” And it sounds like they manage to get done a good deal of all three. The range of jobs to be done at KWP! is impressive: everything from creatives and media liaisons to copywriters and accountants. So what impresses when it comes to snagging work here?

“Getting your foot in the door is by far and away the hardest part. Because we do get quite a few people applying for jobs, you do have to do something quite different – something out of the norm. We had one bloke describe himself in his CV as ‘a sandwich’. He explained why he was certain type of sandwich. It was absolutely hilarious. So it’s important to do something different and set yourself apart from other people. We’re the sum of our experiences, and the more experiences you have the more you can put into your creative work.”

Andrew’s certainly no stranger to setting himself apart from other people. The way he originally caught KWP!’s attention was easy: he spent a year in a bright pink 4WD. “I started a charity with a few mates called Blokes for Breast Cancer. We collected money for Flinders Medical Centre, and spent a year travelling around Australia in a pink 4WD, shaking tins. We made about $110 grand, and that’s basically what got me in here. It showed that I had a bit of get up and go.”

And get up and go is a quality that you’re going to need if you want a job in advertising. Once you’ve gotten your foot (or pimento olive, if you’re a sandwich) in the door, working in the industry means you’ll need pretty thick skin to put up with the barrage of constant deadlines. It also means you’ll need to have a pretty broad skill set. “People will quite often get hired for a certain role, but then different clients come on board and they have to adapt to different processes,” says Andrew. “We’re looking for diversity in skills.”

David Johnson is a guy who knows a thing or two about diversity. He’s been employed in the building industry for over forty years, and over the course has worn everything from an executive suit to factory overalls. He’s been the one sitting behind the interviewer’s desk, and he’s spent Saturday mornings agonizing over the want ads while on the dole.

Today he owns a successful house painting business, and in the past he has sat on the board of directors at a prominent SA timber company. Whenever he’s had to hire someone for a job, Dave says the key to making an impression is personality.

“Probably the priority when hiring new people is whether they were a fit for the company, and if they have a bit of drive in them. At the timber company, I always looked for personality – someone who would fit in and have a bit of a laugh.”

When you’re a tradesman who is dealing with clients, it means that you effectively have to be your own salesperson. Again, Dave reckons the key to sales is personality. “If there’s a very strong drive in the personality, that’s what it boils down to for me,” he says. “You’ve got to be prepared to adopt half a dozen different personalities. You’ve got to be prim and proper for those that are in that position and demand that respect. And then there’s times when you go out on the building site and say ‘How the fuck are ya?’, and the language starts. So you have to adapt to different situations, and you’ve got to have lots of personality.”

After thirty years at the timber company, Dave became frustrated with some management decisions and left to start his own carpeting business. Although work was never hard to come by and the cash fantastic, eventually it all became too much.

“I just woke up one morning and had a breakdown. I’d done too much over a short period of time. It took me about 9 months to get right after that. So that really put us on the bones of our arse – from living a pretty good life to absolutely struggling, on the dole. It was just absolutely woeful.” He pauses. “You don’t want to go on the dole.”

Dave spent the next few months applying for jobs – about 250 – before eventually finding work in a factory, powder coating aluminium. He worked there, breathing in the thick powdery air, for a year – before deciding that he needed to change his life. So one morning he told the factory boss to stick it, and went out and bought a paint brush. Since then the house painting business has taken off, and the bones of Dave’s arse are squarely off of the floor.

The prospect of getting up one morning and changing jobs is hugely daunting to ponder, even when the economy isn’t behaving like it spent last night eating curried prunes dipped in All Bran. But strangely enough it’s the courage and drive that it takes to make a life-changing decision that often impresses potential employers.

Gary Hemmings has worked in the finance sector for well over thirty years now. He’s been with one of the big four banks for all of that time, and so is intimate with the inner sanctum of Australia’s financial industry.

“My daughter’s a good example,” Gary says. “When she graduated and was applying at accounting firms, she said, ‘Oh, I’m older than some of the applicants, blah blah blah!’ – but I said, ‘Hang on. If I was looking at this, you’d be the first person I’d hire. You’ve done one degree, then gone and done your overseas tripping around. Then you’ve had the guts to come back and redo Uni and change direction.’ And sure enough, she got all the offers.”

Gary’s quite high up at the big bank he works for, which is the reason why I have to leave his job description at merely “big bank man”. But during his tenure as big bank man, Gary has seen his fair share of hopeful applicants come through the bank’s revolving doors.

“We’re looking for people that have got tertiary qualifications,” he says. “Almost exclusively. In terms of education, probably the most common at the end of the day is some sort of accountant.”

It’s not all as simple as snoozing through 3 years on a leafy campus, however. Anyone can go to University and get a degree, says Gary. It’s life experience that sets the best apart from the rest. “Sport always gets a tick. They don’t have to be a champion, but if they’ve been involved in sport, then that tends to develop a skill that we’re looking for. It means they know about being part of a team, are able to relate to people of all levels, and are able to follow direction where necessary.”

Presentation skills are also essential. If you someday hope to be a big bank man yourself, you’ve got two options: Either start eating and marry Tyra, or work on presenting yourself in a manner becoming of the profession. This means paying attention to the way you dress and the way you speak, says Gary. “We like to involve employees straight away with clients,” he explains, “So these things are quite important.”

Aside from these qualities, being willing to roll up the old sleeves and put in a little extra is something Gary always looks for. “The generally accepted fact in big business is that the under-25s are pretty selfish. They show up at work, and they want their bosses’ bosses’ job in a year. They have it too easy. They have to be prepared to be patient, and be grateful that they actually have a job.”

If you’re a graphic designer in Adelaide, one job that you would most definitely be grateful to have is one on board with MASH Design. Nestled above the Botanic on East Terrace, MASH is on the cutting edge of cool brand design in Australia, with an impressive trophy room packed with clients and glittering awards to show for it.

With such a reputation for general awesomeness, it’s no secret that the jobs at Mash are hotly contested. When he’s considering prospective employees, MASH founder Dom Roberts says it all really comes down to one thing: their portfolio.

“To tell the truth, if someone sends in a CV and a portfolio of their work, I’ll go straight to their work – and I won’t look at the CV,” Dom says. “People who have put in extra work and extra time, you can tell. What we look for is not really a personality-based thing, it’s not really a CV; it’s just their work. Come in, show your work – if your work is good, you’re in.”

With your future career hinging on just one portfolio, presentation is everything. And there’s no better way to make a terrible impression with MASH than by submitting a portfolio in a cheap black folder with plastic sleeving. “I hate them! With their little zip!” Dom briefly fumes. Eventually, he simmers down and collects himself. The black folders are practical and they have their own use, he explains, but they should never be shown to a designer. Be more inventive with your portfolio, Dom suggests, and turn it into an example of your work itself.

Another method of getting on MASH’s bad side is to abuse typography. The team at MASH have an intimate (almost creepy) relationship with good typography – choosing just the right font for the job, and spending long sessions alternately bumping up and down the leading & kerning in Photoshop.

“We highly value really good type skills and typography that’s amazing. But – Really, the portfolio speaks for itself. If someone isn’t passionate about design, then their folio’s going to show it.”

Speaking to these four people across such different lines of work, one constant sticks out: That – most of all – they’re all after someone with a bit of get up an go, an ability to adapt, and an earnest desire to get down to business. The Recession, the Great Depression 2000 – all of that will pass eventually. So the best thing you can do right now is make sure you’re in the right job, and committing your life to something you’re good at and love doing. Ok, so you could be in trouble – but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything about it.