I was certain I was going to die three times during Japanese Underground Wrestling & Karate last night. Like the naive putz I was, I took a seat front row centre – so close in to the action that I could touch the ring with my feet. Little did I know what the night had in store for me.

 

The first time I was certain of my impending death was during nunchaku champion Hiroki’s first demonstration. The lights snapped off, and his glowing neon nunchaku spun and whipped about the black air directly in front of my face. This, I was sure, would inevitably end in the blunt end of a nunchaku to my nose, which would of course shoot the bones of my nose directly into my brain – rendering me instantly brain dead. But luckily for me, Hiroki is an absolute master with his tool, and whizzed the nunchakus around with absolute precision and purpose. It’s one thing to see nunchaku in action in a movie, but in real life (and up close) they are an amazingly elegant and graceful weapon to behold.

 

 

The second time I was certain I was about to cark it was when the next demonstration of martial arts prowess, in which another performer kicked a baseball bat in half. Again – if it was on television, it would be mere distracting entertainment – but one and a half meters away from your face, it’s the most gravely serious, nerve-wracking sight in the world. The bat would definitely be splintered in half, fly throw the air and lodge itself through the artery in my thigh, painfully bleeding me out for the next four hours – I was sure. But, again, the athlete performed with such discipline that the bat amazingly cracked in two and plonked onto the mat.

 

While Fugofugo Yumeiji defended his World Champion title during the wrestling match that followed, I was merely certain of injury and thankfully not death. Up close and in tight quarters the wrestling action was incredible to watch, with each slap, punch, grapple and headbutt resonating painfully with the audience. But both Fugofugo and his opponent are great showmen first and foremost, and the action inside the ring was above all supremely entertaining. It was impossible not to get caught up in the moment when an impromptu slapping match broke out midway through, or when Fugofugo’s opponent accidentally rolled into the legs of a spectator and – breaking character for a moment – rose to his feet to apologise. The match ended with an upset for Fugofugo, and his nemesis was crowned world champion to the cheers of the crowd.

 

The third and final time I was sure I was about to die happened at the end of the show. This time, I was so resigned to death that I had grimly come to accept it. Hiroki had come back out, with an blindfold and an ominous black pouch. From the pouch he produced “the most dangerous nunchaku in the world!” – a scythe-ended nunchaku, which was so sharp it would cut through cucumbers with the slightest flick of a wrist (helpfully demonstrated). After producing the weapon, Hiroki donned the blindfold, rose to his feet, and – Well, obviously I’m still living, so he must have done his job safely.

 

Underground Wrestling & Karate was supreme entertainment, and one of the highlights of this year’s Fringe for me. It's the kind of show you leave buzzing, having stared death in the eye (three times) and somehow walked away in one piece - and it’s just a shame the run has now ended. But if the show makes the trek back next year, you heard it here: You absolutely cannot miss out. Yurugine!